


Normal

by bella_stories



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Psychopaths, Bullying, Castiel/Dean Winchester - Freeform, Human AU, Hurt Castiel, M/M, Multi, POV Castiel, Panic Attacks, Sociopath, Trauma, mentally ill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 08:29:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bella_stories/pseuds/bella_stories
Summary: Castiel has never had the easiest life. living with social anxiety, everyone taking advantage of him, being treated stupider than he really is due to his lack of social skills.He always knew he would break.It was just a matter of when"what happened to you?""What didnt?"





	Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Most chapters will be in castiels POV. New at writing a mentally ill character. Castiel is in 7th grade in this chapter.

“I'm going for a bike ride mom!” a thin preteen called out, waiting for a response.

“Okay castiel! Be back before dinner”

Racing out the door the frail boy jumped on his bike; dark blue with a brown woven basket. It was really a girls bike but he loved the style.

Pounding against the pedals he began peddling to the outskirts of his suburban neighborhood. His backpack hit his back on every bump he went over.

He felt slightly nervous and unsure about what he was going to do as he got closer and closer to his destination.

He finally reached the end of the neighborhood and roughly breaks his bike. Jumping off the bike, the preteen raced towards a wooded area, cautiously approaching the trap he had set the day before.

His heart raced when he saw there was a grown bunny; gray and obviously wild. In his trap. It laid still as he approached, he hadn't been expecting his trap to actually work, he kind of didn't want it to work…. But now he had no choice. He had been trying to catch a bunny for a few days.

Kneeling onto the pine covered earth he took off his backpack, opening it excitedly and pulling out a steak knife he had taken from the kitchen the day before; not that his family would notice.

Opening the trap (which he had managed to steal from the neighbors backyard) the raven haired boy gently pulled the squirming bunny out.

“Shhhhh, don't worry baby” castiel whispered gently, pulling it close to his chest. 

“Can i really do this?” he asked himself staring into the beady eyes of the animal.

“Shut up castiel! Think about why you're doing this!” he lectured to himself.

He thought about the people who have hurt him; the teachers who treat him like he's mentally retarded, the kids who gossip and whisper about him, his siblings who make him feel stupid, his parents who flip their emotions so much. The anxiety and panic attacks he has daily from everyone. He hated everyone. He wanted to hurt them. But this was all he had. He thought about when he punched trees and walls until his knuckles bled after school. The bruises he has right now on his legs

The less pride he had right now than before he went to school this morning.

His grip on the animal tightened, his eyes widened, and his hand holding the knife clenched.

“Sorry bunny… life. Isnt. fair.”

Putting the bunny beneath his legs he gripped its neck tight, pushing it into the ground. He wasn't used to doing this.

“Imagine it's all the teachers you've had in your life…. The popular kids that would mock your speech, leave you out of games…. Call you weak…. Frail….. Mock your lack of strength…. Tore up your papers! How they called you crazy, called you a freak, outcast, weirdo, fag!” the voice in his head got louder and louder.

“I HATE YOU” he scream slamming the edged blade through the bunny's back.

“Don't fUCKING STOP FREAK” 

Pulling the blade out he repeated the motion, the last hit going straight through the skull.

Taking a deep breath castiel shook his head and looked at the mess he made.

“That felt…. Different” he spoke to himself.

“Why stop there when you can rip its corpse apart?”

Picking up the dead bunny he shakily cut through the middle of it, pulling the flaps of skin apart it revealed crimson coated entrails.

Curiously he pushed his fingers inside it. “It's so warm!” he whispered, a smile flashing on his lips as he pushed his hands deeper in. a chill going down his spine, reminding him how cold it was. The crimson liquid was warm compared to the october weather.

“Go crazy cassie” he whispered as he began tearing pulling hard on the limbs.

Listening to his himself he grabbed knife and started sawing off the limbs. He's never been able to this before! It was exhilarating! New! Definitely different.

Pulled out of his fun by his phone ringing, he reached into his jacket with bloody hands, not caring he was getting wet blood on his phone. Looking at the screen he saw it was Michael.

“Hey”

“Hey dumbass, get your ass home moms worried and wants you home for dinner”

“Sure thing! I'll be home in 10 minutes”

“Okay bye”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“I love you”

“Fuck off”

guess he hung up. “I haven't even been gone that long- oh an hour! Guess i was too busy having fun, sorry to go cottontail- it was fun while it lasted”

Looking down at the mess of a carcass he realized the how blood splattered hei was. But he had prepared for this, pulling out a box of clorox wipes he had brought he began wiping his hands, phone, and knife.

Double checking to see that his clothes only got a small amount of blood; not noticeable and easy to pin on something else… he’ll make an excuse.

“I'm not gonna do this again…. It was a once in a time thing” he reassured himself as he walked back to his bike.

“Im…. normal”


End file.
